My resolution for this year is to be drama free and as best as I can to live at peace with everyone. First of all, how many times do we make new years resolutions only to discover a few days in that they are impossible expectations we put on ourselves. They sound great in theory. We have seen these Facebook memes “Not my lama, not my drama” or “not my circus. not my monkeys”. I am sure we can all relate to this in some way because we often we want to live peaceful lives but just find ourselves in conflict. Whether it be family or the workplace, sometimes these situations happen that we do not choose to be in and can not control.
Here are 3 tools to help us live a peaceful life:
” and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you ” 1 Thes 4:11
Lead a Quiet life
In today’s fast-paced society, take time out for you. Take time out for family and for fun. Watch sunsets and children play, go for long walks, pray, listen to music, dance in your underwear, visit a friend, sip tea on your veranda while looking at the flowers bloom. Be the tortoise in a world full of hares. Appreciate the moment and do not rush to the destination.
Spend more time with loved ones and less time with technology. This is not The Singularity yet. Turn off your phones. You do not need to reply to every message immediately. Only check your emails once a day, if even. You do not need to be controlled by technology. Teach your children to switch off their devices in company or at the table. I have 3 boys, an 18-year-old, 16-year-old and 12-year-old. I was finding that we were all disappearing to our rooms and each on their own device. I realised it was time for a change. Bring back family game night. Once a week, all 5 of us come together and play cards or board games. Spend time cooking together. Eat meals around the table and talk to each other.
Mind your own business
Conflict often occurs when we infringe on other peoples boundaries or they infringe in ours. Know the boundaries in relationships. Don’t speak to your mom about a fight you have had with your husband because when you have made up and forgiven him, she will still be bitter. Don’t force your unwanted opinions on others, especially with little or no information. Just don’t gossip full stop. Do not judge everyone you meet. Mind your own business. Worry about yourself and what you can control. You cannot make choices for others.
People who keep pushing your boundaries are saying that their agenda is more important than your feelings. They feel entitled and that they have access into your life. They only have access if you allow them access. Do not engage in a fight just because you are invited to. Peace is more valuable than being right. Walk away if you have to. Show love and grace and do not entertain an argument. You don’t have to show up in the ring. Leave them there standing with their boxing gloves wondering how they got there.
Work with your hands
1. Find a purpose. Know why you are here on earth. That will give you peace and your life meaning. If you are a career woman or a mom at home, both are valuable and both are working. Some of your work will be seen and most of your work will be unseen.
2. Get a hobby. What are your interests? Is it hiking, reading, scrapbooking, baking, writing poetry? Fear and hopelessness lead to laziness. If you have interests, you don’t have time for your mind to wonder and focus on the negative.
3. Serve others. Do things for people who can’t repay you. Help out at an old age home. Hug the lonely. Get behind a cause. Be kind. When you are helping others you find peace.
A quote worth remembering
“Time is your most precious gift because you only have a set amount of it. You can make more money, but you can’t make more time. When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you’ll never get back. Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give someone is your time.
It is not enough to just say relationships are important; we must prove it by investing time in them. Words alone are worthless. “My children, our love should not be just words and talk; it must be true love, which shows itself in action.” Relationships take time and effort, and the best way to spell love is “T-I-M-E.”
― Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here for?
Finally, If you fail in all these things, a friend actually told me today that each day the sun rises anew and you can too. If you fall, don’t stay down too long, just keep getting up. Keep trying. Keep the peace.